The feeling is heavy. The kind of heaviness that weigh you down pulling your whole persona to the verge of drowning in the depth and waves of this pandemic.
I may sound overly cynic but when the reality of this pandemic hits you on a personal level, it will send your calmness and composure to an end.
It only took two years. The person you were in 2019 was not the same person you are now in 2021. Some people and things that matters most in 2019 is worth nothing now in 2021. Some people we know from that year are all of a sudden not here anymore. Some passed away, some you just chose to cut ties with. People we love, people close to us, people we care about. Our neighbours, our friends and families, whom we saw on our side, grateful that some stayed and sadly some left. We grieved from losing them. Grief, as painful as it is, took a large part of our emotion and changed our hearts. Two years seemed ages ago.
Our patience is continuously tested in this tough time. I myself is not as nice and patient anymore. It's fine, it's okay. There is always a time for tolerance and there is a moment to call it quits and stop. Listen if it is to inspire yourself and step back turn around when it's not. This is not the time for self-centered, narcissist people to shine. Think about your well-being and your loved ones who matters most.
Change is okay. If this pandemic transformed our perception, diverted our priorities, so be it.
As the pandemic heightens and continues, the person struggles to live and survive like a stone in the desert living thru heat, cold, rains, and storms. Slowly and painfully becoming hard, growing like a rock. Battered but strong.
May the strength gives us courage to face this storm, may the rage of this trial soon pass. Hoping that despite being torn and damaged, the feeling of heaviness will push us as we swim thru the depth and waves to survive this pandemic.
